A Rescuer's Dilemma

I received the following message, from a fellow 'fixer,' sharing how we really can't control things (or people) we would like to control. This is a true story, though the author wishes to remain anonymous.

"A lot of us here are fixers/rescuers -- and it's truly a gift to be made this way, as long as we keep reminding ourselves of our limits. And as all members of The Slow Learners Club know, we have to remind ourselves often.

"My daughter told me that an incident the other day typified my approach to 'fixing' problems: I did not put my car in park, and it started rolling out of the garage and down the driveway. I saw where it was headed: across the street into the neighbors' car(s) parked in their driveway. So I ran along beside it the whole way, shoving on it, trying to stop it! At least I had the sense not to get behind it. I just ended up falling down backwards in the street, spraining my wrist. No harm to the cars, but the neighbor's car was pushed into their garage door, ruining it. At least there were no witnesses (though I sheepishly left a note).

"[My daughter] said I was trying to fix a problem that I had no control over, only ended up hurting myself, and made no difference whatsoever in the outcome. A metaphor for the ridiculous way I instinctively respond to problems. No, we are not failures for not being able to stop rolling cars or [a loved one's] behavior; we just need to make better judgments about what we can and can't control, and be aware of the costs of trying to control what we can't."