A Happy Side Effect

I have a very hard time disciplining my son. How do I decide which punishment will fit a particular misbehavior? How can I train him, without making him robotic? Will he grow up thinking that I was a horrible parent, harsh and unforgiving? So, I do the best I can, and I try to be creative (crime-punishment):

• Messy Bedroom—Clean it up, then write a paragraph about why it's important to keep your room clean. Paragraph must have a topic sentence, three supporting sentences, and a conclusion.
• Bad Report Card—Video games restricted until grades improve. And, write a paragraph about why it's important to get good grades in school.
• Didn't Turn in Homework to Teacher—If homework isn't complete, finish it and turn it in for a partial grade. Then, write a paragraph about why it's important to turn in one's homework on time.
• Talking Back—Telephone privileges revoked for a time. Plus, write a paragraph about why you shouldn't talk back to your mom.
• Still talking back?—Write five paragraphs about why you shouldn't talk back to your mom. Include topic paragraph, three paragraphs with supporting details, and a concluding paragraph. (He really loves that one--not.)

Yes, there is a pattern developing here. Does it really help? I don't know. I still have to ride him about cleaning his room. If I don't follow up with him on his homework, he still won't do it half the time and won't turn in completed work the rest of the time. And, even though he hates writing essays about why he shouldn't talk back...he still talks back from time to time! I guess I don't know the first thing about parenting.

Today, my son brought home a social studies worksheet with a big fat 40 on it. I was livid! It was a real tough assignment--all multiple choice! I believe he thinks multiple choice means that any number of choices can be the right answer for any question! Either that, or he closes him eyes, aims, and chooses whichever answer his pencil lands on. It makes no sense to me why a smart boy would not naturally want to do well.

The day was not a total loss, however. He showed me his first graded essay of this new school year...with a big fat 100 on it, and a glowing teacher's comment in the margin. My son is becoming quite the little writer. I couldn't be more proud!

Maybe I should think up some new punishments, like...for talking back, recite all the U.S. presidents in order; or for a messy bedroom, clean it up, then list for me the entire periodic table of elements. You know, it just might work. I think I'm on to something here!