My Internet Initiative Scholarship Essay

When I finish college, I will assemble a team of the brightest new computer programmers, analysts, and scientists that I met during my academic years. We will take computer consulting and project management to a new level—virtual reality for business applications. We will begin with an interactive web site that allows customers to view first-hand what we have done for others, and provides them a free assessment of what we can do for them.

First contact between my team and potential clients will be face-to-face in their offices, where we will study their business and find out what they believe they need most from a data processing company. We will introduce each member of our team to the members of our customer’s staff, and show them who they will be working with. Our initial visit to each client will be the only traveling involved in this endeavor. After that, every negotiation, demonstration, initiative, and training session will be conducted over the Internet.

Customer contact will occur in virtual reality through a live Internet feed via a customized headset, and touch screen. My team will be in the war room of our office—a conference room whose four walls will be interactive screens. This is where the magic will happen. The synergy created in this environment will streamline the consulting process. Clients will be able to get immediate answers to their questions, bypassing formerly necessary steps such as telephone calls, e-mail and instant messaging. Progress reports will be seen on the virtual bulletin board in our office. Customers will know in real time when their project’s goals are reached. Subsequently, my team will be only a touch away.

Perhaps this sounds like science fiction, such as worm hole and light speed travel. The human race may not yet navigate subspace in ships (think Star Trek), but holodeck technology is not so far off (see http://www.projectholodeck.com/).

AT&T used to have a slogan “Reach Out and Touch Someone.” That touch was by voice and emotion, and it could bring a smile to the face and warmth to the heart of a loved one. Skype has taken it a step further with video calling and conferencing. I can visit my nephew in Afghanistan with a few clicks of a button and a Skype connection. I may not be able to hug him, but he can see the hug in my eyes as well as hear it in my voice. He sees in my body language how much I care and in my face how much I miss him.

Video conferencing and telecommuting may not be so new to the boardroom, but virtual reality and holo-imaging will be the business communication wave of the future. It will be a shock-wave felt round the world, and the Internet will be the vehicle. Rather, it will be the driving force.

My dream of becoming a computer programmer began years ago in a small Ohio town in a vocational school where big things were going on: a mainframe computer with keypunch machines and reverse 10-key data entry, sorters, collators, and RPG II programming. Big dreams often have humble beginnings. With the World Wide Web at our fingertips, they can become big realities. I plan on going there.

Little Flower by Grace Kelly

Over three years ago I posted a poem to my blog, asking if anyone knows this poem that I had learned as a child. Today, I check my blog, and lo and behold....someone from Italy responded by posting the poem! So, I am repeating it here. Thank you Francesco!

Little Flower, you're a lucky one
you soak in all the lovely sun
you stand and watch it all go by
and never once do bat an eye
while others have to fight and strain
against the world and its every pain of living.

But you must, too, have wars to fight
the cold bleak darkness of every night
of a bigger vine who seeks to grow
and is able to stand the rain and snow
and yet you never let it show
on your pretty face.

Grace P. Kelly

Birthday Memories

I've previously spoken of my former pastor and his wife (from when I was living in North Carolina.) They were Dr. Robert and Lavola Hart. They were both nearing eighty years old and worked tirelessly for the Lord, until their lives ended in a tragic car accident.

I had occasion to think of them again a few days ago, on my birthday. My mind when back to August 24, 1998. At the time, I was store accountant for the Harris Teeter supermarket in Albemarle, and was working the night of my birthday. I missed church that night because of work. I ran a cash register part of the night because we were so busy. When things died down, I secured my register and headed back to the accounting office. I didn't get far! As I turned around, Bro. & Sis. Hart appeared out of nowhere, and began to sing "Happy Birthday to you!" For a moment, I was embarrassed...then I was so thrilled! How nice of them to come to the store after church just to sing to me!

This was just one of the many kindness they showed to me. I'm so glad I have this memory of these wonderful people, my old friends.

Enthusiasm and Freedom

Today I read the following from Norman Vincent Peale's Treasury of Joy and Enthusiasm (1981, Foundation For Christian Living), and was encouraged. It goes:

"...enthusiasm is good for you. Hope you catch it--and good.

When contagious, enthusiastic faith in yourself releases you from the self-built prison of your mind, then you begin to change, and as you change, your whole life also changes. You are set free to live on a level never before experienced.

Perhaps you are being overwhelmed by problems. When they have you disorganized and confused, remember there is Someone concerned about you. The Lord will help you to turn about, rethink clearly and overcome. Your victories will fill you with enthusiasm and joy. Your problems will give way before enthusiasm and positive faith." (pp 28)

God's Will For Me

We just wrapped up a revival with Rev. J.R. & Sis. Ashmore and I just have to say "WOW!" God's word and His Spirit were poured out in abundance. During this revival I was healed of gastro-intestinal illnesses that plagued me for nearly 20 years!

God also spoke to me through His word, a scripture that I've heard many times--yet one I've never really heard:

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." I Thessalonians 5:18

How simple can it get?

So, I thank God for everything in my life, the decisions and experiences, both good and bad. I even thank Him for the poor decisions of my past. But...what past? The past does not exist. I can't reach back and touch it. I can't change it. So there is no need to agonize over it! From now on, I will live in the now. And I will give God the thanks in all things. For this is His will for me in Christ Jesus, my Savior!

Thinking Out Loud

One of the things I enjoy about blogging is the thinking out loud. It's kind of therapeutic...even if no one else ever reads it.

The problem is, I tend to give too much personal information. I'm really not an emotional exhibitionist. But I can get carried away.

So if anyone else reads my blog--and you think I'm giving TMI--please drop me a note. Thanks!

Inertial Damper

I lifted the following comments from an article in GQ magazine. The writer told about an actor who has no set goals for his career (I've edited out certain references, but kept the gist of the comments): If you don’t commit to a goal, you don’t have to worry about what you’re doing, or not doing, to make it come true....About the choices you’re making and the ones you’re letting time and inertia and other people make for you. Maybe hanging back is less scary than committing to something that might turn out to be beyond you.

I'm ashamed to admit how often I am in this very frame of mind. Afraid to set a goal. Afraid to fail. Afraid to achieve. What is it about? Am I afraid to see my own limitations? Or more worried that others will see me and judge? Whatever the case...I don't want forces stronger than my own will to propel me into the future because I lack the courage to consciously choose my own future.

In the words of singer/songwriter Justin Furstenfeld "...my decision paved the road that lies in front of me." And since I don't like my present road a whole lot these days, I'm just going to have to build a new one. By the grace of God, I will.

A Woman's Purpose

Let's say a woman has been living for somebody else her entire adult life. Her husband's dreams have become her purpose in life. At least what she thought she knew of those dreams. And then a troubling thing happens: the man's dreams become distorted by mental illness. What does she do? Does she say to him, "Honey, when I vowed 'in sickness and in health,' that did not include crazy?" Or how about, "Sweetheart, 'for better or worse' was not meant to cover blatantly destructive behavior?"

I read somewhere that when one writes about a subject, she should not leave the topic open-ended. In other words, she should offer a solution to the problem she presents for consideration. Well, I'm going to break that rule. (Since I'm all about breaking rules these days.) I'm working on a solution for this dilemma. I'm just not there yet.

So, back to my original train of thought. How does a woman who is accustomed to living for someone else start living for herself? And once your life is melded with another, can you ever truly go back?

Not you typical blogging post, I know. But this is where I am for now.

Blogging Again

How does one start again? It's been almost a year since my last post. Lots of things have transpired since then. A recap might be in order....but I think I'll pass. At any rate, here I am again.

Hill Billy Word Of The Day

SLAP - a degree of measurement expressing totality, for example, "That storage shed is slap full!" synonym: plum

GO, WOMAN!

It was Mother's Day afternoon at my brother-in-law's house, where family dinner was followed by a serious game of softball. Most everybody played. Six-year olds and forty-somethings together.I don't really remember what inning it was when it happened. I hit a ground ball down the second base line, into center field. Base hit! I was doing good! Standing on first, and a little out of breath, I was ready to go. The next batter hit a home run. Not the kind that flies into the woods, or over the pasture fence; no such luck. The hitter and I had to run like crazy if we were going to make it home.

I was running as fast as a bare-footed fat woman in a denim skirt could go! About the time I rounded third, I heard him on my tail, "Run, Mom, run!" Players on both teams were going wild, and his voice grew closer. I thought I was pickin' 'em up and layin' em down. Evidently not. The voice grew stronger, until "Run, Mom" turned into a frantic "GO, WOMAN!" Laughing like a crazy woman, I made it safely home. My son did, too. What a bonding moment! Could have been a coronary moment...but all was good. Mother's Day was good.

More Evidence of Abuses by our Troops?

Why don't we see these on the news?

Change And Choices

At the risk of borrowing from tomorrow's troubles, I sit here thinking about where I've been and where I'm headed. Only forty-something, I sometimes feel like my life is over. I've made some poor personal decisions in the past...and I live daily in their shadows. Is there light ahead for me? Or is my path now set in stone, dark and cold.

I grew up hearing, "if you make your bed hard, you will have to sleep in it." Such a sense of finality that adage holds! But, is the legendary "hard bed" one's final resting place? Or, just another pit stop, a place to rest (albeit uncomfortably), while new dreams are dreamed, and new schemes hatched? I hope in the latter.

Change is headed my way. An old friend. A ruthless foe. An impartial eventuality. Am I strong enough to face it? Lord God, give me the strength to do each day whatever it takes to be ready for whatever my future holds, and the wisdom to choose well.

Double Ought

I'm just flat embarrassing when I go to one of Nick's soccer games. I jump up and down, and scream, and have a good old time. Today I got some pics of Nick (00) in action, as he played for Badin School. The game ended with a tie, 1-1. What an exciting game!

Niece Nichole in Greece

Nichole is in Greece for this spring semester of college. She's having a blast...as evidenced by the fun and beautiful pictures she sends. There are more pictures at my Flickr site (see right frame).

Nichole at the Acropolis

Nichole Atop Some Ruins

Liz (Nichole's roommate) & Nichole below the sign:
"Do Not Climb On The Ruins"

Sheet Music, c. 1917-1918, Honoring & Celebrating U.S. Soldiers

I'm listing some old sheet music in my store this weekend. The covers are so lovely, I thought I'd share a few here. These pieces are of the large format, so the covers had to be scanned in sections. I hope someone else enjoys them as much as I have:

Big Enough Children

It was early October, 1979, six days before my mom died. She was to be admitted to the Cleveland Clinic the next day for her third heart surgery. This was Sunday afternoon. She shared with me a secret...she wouldn't be coming home from this hospital stay. She was tired of being sick, and had told the Lord she would rather die than continue to suffer. She believed she was going to die. She gave up.

I was stunned. No, Mom, you're not going to die, I pleaded with her. But, she rattled off a list of things for me to remember when she was gone: always take your purse with you wherever you go; as soon as I'm gone, your dad will try to move you kids to Florida...fight him for all you're worth, but do not let him take you and your sister to Florida (which he did, and which I did); and so on. She showed me where the "important papers" were, then she said something I'll never forget.

I used to pray that God would let me live long enough to see my children big enough to take care of themselves. Now, I wish I had prayed to see my grandchildren. Her youngest had turned thirteen only days before. I was sixteen, and my brothers seventeen and eighteen. Yet, we were not big enough to take care of ourselves. Not really. Of course, we could take care of basic physical needs. But, none of us were really big enough to do without our mother. We needed her touch, her smile, her comfort, her guidance, and her faith in us.

This past Saturday, I heard a woman say that she wishes her grown children--ages nineteen and twenty--would move out of her house. I'm done raising kids, she said. They're big enough to take care of themselves!

My heart filled with sadness, as my mind drifted back to that fateful afternoon when my mom declared her kids were big enough to take care of themselves. If she could have seen where our lives would eventually lead, and how great were our needs, she would have never given up. I know that now.

God grant me the time in life that my son needs from me. Help me to never give up. Give me the forsight to realize that my job is not through when my son ages out of adolescence. Help me to be there for him, as You have been here for me.

Good Therapy

Blogging for several months...then not blogging for a month or so...leaves me feeling kinda guilty. Do I dare come back? Pick up where I left off? All I know is that I really missed it. Sharing my thoughts with everybody--and maybe nobody--is theraputic. I'm going to try and continue. God bless us every one.

Buttercups Anew

Buttercups (perhaps better known as Daffodils) are here! How refreshing they are after a dreary winter. They remind me of the Lord's faithfulness. No matter how bleak the circumstances...God is still in control. New beginnings, fresh starts are still possible with Him.

Lunar Eclipse

Tonight there was a lunar eclipse. I couldn't hold my camera still enough in the pushy wind, so the pictures didn't turn out quite right. I thought they were interesting, however. Here are a few: