Birthday Memories

I've previously spoken of my former pastor and his wife (from when I was living in North Carolina.) They were Dr. Robert and Lavola Hart. They were both nearing eighty years old and worked tirelessly for the Lord, until their lives ended in a tragic car accident.

I had occasion to think of them again a few days ago, on my birthday. My mind when back to August 24, 1998. At the time, I was store accountant for the Harris Teeter supermarket in Albemarle, and was working the night of my birthday. I missed church that night because of work. I ran a cash register part of the night because we were so busy. When things died down, I secured my register and headed back to the accounting office. I didn't get far! As I turned around, Bro. & Sis. Hart appeared out of nowhere, and began to sing "Happy Birthday to you!" For a moment, I was embarrassed...then I was so thrilled! How nice of them to come to the store after church just to sing to me!

This was just one of the many kindness they showed to me. I'm so glad I have this memory of these wonderful people, my old friends.

Enthusiasm and Freedom

Today I read the following from Norman Vincent Peale's Treasury of Joy and Enthusiasm (1981, Foundation For Christian Living), and was encouraged. It goes:

"...enthusiasm is good for you. Hope you catch it--and good.

When contagious, enthusiastic faith in yourself releases you from the self-built prison of your mind, then you begin to change, and as you change, your whole life also changes. You are set free to live on a level never before experienced.

Perhaps you are being overwhelmed by problems. When they have you disorganized and confused, remember there is Someone concerned about you. The Lord will help you to turn about, rethink clearly and overcome. Your victories will fill you with enthusiasm and joy. Your problems will give way before enthusiasm and positive faith." (pp 28)

God's Will For Me

We just wrapped up a revival with Rev. J.R. & Sis. Ashmore and I just have to say "WOW!" God's word and His Spirit were poured out in abundance. During this revival I was healed of gastro-intestinal illnesses that plagued me for nearly 20 years!

God also spoke to me through His word, a scripture that I've heard many times--yet one I've never really heard:

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." I Thessalonians 5:18

How simple can it get?

So, I thank God for everything in my life, the decisions and experiences, both good and bad. I even thank Him for the poor decisions of my past. But...what past? The past does not exist. I can't reach back and touch it. I can't change it. So there is no need to agonize over it! From now on, I will live in the now. And I will give God the thanks in all things. For this is His will for me in Christ Jesus, my Savior!

Thinking Out Loud

One of the things I enjoy about blogging is the thinking out loud. It's kind of therapeutic...even if no one else ever reads it.

The problem is, I tend to give too much personal information. I'm really not an emotional exhibitionist. But I can get carried away.

So if anyone else reads my blog--and you think I'm giving TMI--please drop me a note. Thanks!

Inertial Damper

I lifted the following comments from an article in GQ magazine. The writer told about an actor who has no set goals for his career (I've edited out certain references, but kept the gist of the comments): If you don’t commit to a goal, you don’t have to worry about what you’re doing, or not doing, to make it come true....About the choices you’re making and the ones you’re letting time and inertia and other people make for you. Maybe hanging back is less scary than committing to something that might turn out to be beyond you.

I'm ashamed to admit how often I am in this very frame of mind. Afraid to set a goal. Afraid to fail. Afraid to achieve. What is it about? Am I afraid to see my own limitations? Or more worried that others will see me and judge? Whatever the case...I don't want forces stronger than my own will to propel me into the future because I lack the courage to consciously choose my own future.

In the words of singer/songwriter Justin Furstenfeld "...my decision paved the road that lies in front of me." And since I don't like my present road a whole lot these days, I'm just going to have to build a new one. By the grace of God, I will.

A Woman's Purpose

Let's say a woman has been living for somebody else her entire adult life. Her husband's dreams have become her purpose in life. At least what she thought she knew of those dreams. And then a troubling thing happens: the man's dreams become distorted by mental illness. What does she do? Does she say to him, "Honey, when I vowed 'in sickness and in health,' that did not include crazy?" Or how about, "Sweetheart, 'for better or worse' was not meant to cover blatantly destructive behavior?"

I read somewhere that when one writes about a subject, she should not leave the topic open-ended. In other words, she should offer a solution to the problem she presents for consideration. Well, I'm going to break that rule. (Since I'm all about breaking rules these days.) I'm working on a solution for this dilemma. I'm just not there yet.

So, back to my original train of thought. How does a woman who is accustomed to living for someone else start living for herself? And once your life is melded with another, can you ever truly go back?

Not you typical blogging post, I know. But this is where I am for now.

Blogging Again

How does one start again? It's been almost a year since my last post. Lots of things have transpired since then. A recap might be in order....but I think I'll pass. At any rate, here I am again.